1
00:00:06,130 --> 00:00:07,130
Perfect.

2
00:00:10,290 --> 00:00:11,290
Ahoy, human.

3
00:00:11,430 --> 00:00:12,430
Welcome aboard.

4
00:00:13,550 --> 00:00:15,350
It's a good thing we went to the market.

5
00:00:15,710 --> 00:00:17,230
Are you comfortable?

6
00:00:17,610 --> 00:00:18,610
For the moment.

7
00:00:18,730 --> 00:00:23,550
If I've arranged things right, I won't
have to move from this spot all day.

8
00:00:24,250 --> 00:00:28,370
I hope things work out for you. Thanks.
That means a lot to me.

9
00:00:30,190 --> 00:00:31,230
Oh, darn.

10
00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:34,520
I just can't quite seem to reach the
VCR.

11
00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:39,980
Well, don't even think about getting up.
I'll take care of it for you.

12
00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:43,160
Thanks. Saves getting a wrist full of
broker fur.

13
00:00:44,620 --> 00:00:45,900
Jane Fonda's workout.

14
00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:48,980
I like to watch her while I drink my
coffee.

15
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,740
Listen, grab a plate and help yourself.

16
00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:53,360
The forks are chilled.

17
00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:55,400
Maybe later.

18
00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:57,440
Crocker?

19
00:00:59,340 --> 00:01:00,860
That's probably the doorbell.

20
00:01:01,980 --> 00:01:06,820
Well, whoever it is, I'll get rid of
them. I mean, we can't have anyone

21
00:01:06,820 --> 00:01:07,900
disturbing you.

22
00:01:08,260 --> 00:01:10,220
Yeah, tell them to take a hike.

23
00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:13,520
Mom!

24
00:01:17,700 --> 00:01:19,380
It's so good to see you.

25
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:32,320
Not your grandma. What brings her out
this way?

26
00:02:33,140 --> 00:02:35,100
The kitchen. The kitchen.

27
00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:36,760
Now. All right.

28
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:39,600
Willie, grab the pasta maker.

29
00:02:39,820 --> 00:02:40,820
Let's just go.

30
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:42,960
Who's at the door?

31
00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:46,960
Grandma. Where is she? They're making
her stand outside.

32
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:48,400
I'll go.

33
00:02:55,950 --> 00:02:57,730
man. Are you sure?

34
00:02:58,390 --> 00:02:59,390
Mom.

35
00:02:59,870 --> 00:03:03,030
It's been too long. Oh, I know. What a
surprise.

36
00:03:03,370 --> 00:03:04,370
Long time.

37
00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:06,890
Little hug. Hi, Grandma.

38
00:03:07,170 --> 00:03:08,210
Lynn, Brian.

39
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,570
Grandma. Give me a hug.

40
00:03:11,370 --> 00:03:12,930
Are they feeding you?

41
00:03:13,350 --> 00:03:16,910
Yeah. Obviously not enough. That was a
very weak hug.

42
00:03:18,350 --> 00:03:21,310
I like that one. That was good. Hi,
Grandma.

43
00:03:21,930 --> 00:03:23,490
Another weak hug.

44
00:03:24,250 --> 00:03:25,250
Better.

45
00:03:26,140 --> 00:03:27,140
Hi, Dorothy.

46
00:03:27,700 --> 00:03:28,780
Hello, Willie.

47
00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:38,580
Anyway, I am off to Hawaii with Crazy
Estelle. Oh, honey. And we figured we'd

48
00:03:38,580 --> 00:03:42,520
spend three days in Los Angeles while
she visits her daughter. I'm visiting my

49
00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:47,300
daughter. Oh, honey, that hair is much
too short for that face.

50
00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:48,700
You look good, too, Mom.

51
00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:51,220
I'm so glad you're here for lunch.

52
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,940
Tell me, what's your mother feeding you
these days? Oh, good food.

53
00:03:56,500 --> 00:03:57,500
Sandwiches.

54
00:03:57,820 --> 00:04:01,320
Sandwiches? Well, listen, tonight I'm
going to make you something substantial.

55
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:04,500
Mom, I'm cooking dinner tonight.

56
00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:06,340
Oh, listen, we'll talk about it later.

57
00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:09,060
Oh, I brought gifts.

58
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:11,220
Gifts? No!

59
00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:15,540
I always bring gifts.

60
00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:16,880
I meant... No!

61
00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:19,459
No! You needn't have brought any.

62
00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:21,839
I didn't bring any for you.

63
00:04:22,380 --> 00:04:24,180
I thought you'd be on the road.

64
00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,140
Why would I be on the road?

65
00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:28,520
Well, you're a salesman, aren't you?

66
00:04:28,860 --> 00:04:31,900
No, I work in social services.

67
00:04:32,820 --> 00:04:33,880
Mom, you knew that.

68
00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:37,720
That's right. I don't know who I was
thinking of.

69
00:04:38,260 --> 00:04:40,960
Willie Loman, death of a salesman.

70
00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:44,279
I know.

71
00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:46,560
Crazy Estelle's son -in -law, Crazy
Steve.

72
00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:49,120
He's a salesman, and he does very well.

73
00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:54,180
Okay, Brian, here you go.

74
00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:56,440
A scarf!

75
00:04:56,980 --> 00:05:01,580
That's right, hand -knitted by Grandma.
I remembered how cold it gets in here.

76
00:05:01,980 --> 00:05:04,860
Mom, the house doesn't get that cold.

77
00:05:05,780 --> 00:05:09,480
Oh, honey, maybe not for you, but these
children have no body fat.

78
00:05:10,420 --> 00:05:13,460
Here you go, Lynn. This will keep you
nice and warm.

79
00:05:13,700 --> 00:05:16,520
Oh, thanks, Grandma. It's beautiful,
and...

80
00:05:18,820 --> 00:05:23,140
It's very important for children to wear
warm clothing. I cannot emphasize that

81
00:05:23,140 --> 00:05:28,400
enough. Mom, the children have plenty of
warm clothing.

82
00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:32,400
As a matter of fact, we just bought them
new jackets and sweaters. Honey, you

83
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:35,000
cannot get really warm clothing in a
store.

84
00:05:35,860 --> 00:05:40,120
Well, so far, the kids have been able to
survive these brutal Southern

85
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:41,620
California winters, Mom.

86
00:05:42,980 --> 00:05:44,880
Kate, are you being sarcastic?

87
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:51,830
Yes, I am being a little bit... Darling,
that is so unbecoming. I hope we're not

88
00:05:51,830 --> 00:05:52,830
going to fight.

89
00:05:53,090 --> 00:05:55,870
Maybe Grandma should stay with Crazy
Estelle.

90
00:05:56,370 --> 00:05:57,370
No, Grandma.

91
00:05:57,670 --> 00:05:58,970
Stay with us.

92
00:05:59,430 --> 00:06:01,030
Mom won't fight with you.

93
00:06:01,330 --> 00:06:02,390
Will you, Mom?

94
00:06:02,630 --> 00:06:04,950
No. No. I don't want to fight.

95
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,650
Well, good. Neither does Grandma.

96
00:06:08,450 --> 00:06:11,590
Okay. You kids help me with my luggage.

97
00:06:12,780 --> 00:06:13,780
There you go, Brian.

98
00:06:13,980 --> 00:06:18,820
And tonight, I'm going to make you a
nice home -cooked dinner.

99
00:06:23,220 --> 00:06:25,960
Well, Mother's here.

100
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,700
It's only for a couple of days. Yeah, I
know.

101
00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:32,480
Yo, I have a question.

102
00:06:32,980 --> 00:06:36,920
Is Grandma staying here going to affect
me in any way?

103
00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:39,900
Help!

104
00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:41,840
I'm locked in a garage.

105
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:43,720
I'm without food.

106
00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:49,740
Someone please call Mike's Pizza Barge
and order one humongous with everything

107
00:06:49,740 --> 00:06:54,240
on it. Oh, yeah, wait a minute. Make
that everything except beets.

108
00:06:55,060 --> 00:06:57,000
Emphasize that. No beets.

109
00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,680
Oh, never mind. My jailers are here.

110
00:07:01,460 --> 00:07:04,740
It's about time. I was beginning to feel
faint.

111
00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:07,260
Many pardon for the delay, Lord Shumway.

112
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,760
He must be hungry. He didn't even say
great.

113
00:07:14,740 --> 00:07:15,740
Great.

114
00:07:18,660 --> 00:07:19,660
Oh,

115
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,760
great food, Kate. You finally learned
how to cook.

116
00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:25,100
My mother made that.

117
00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:27,780
Really? I'd like to beat her.

118
00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:31,980
Al, you're going to have to stay in the
garage for a few days.

119
00:07:32,380 --> 00:07:34,540
Why? Because I insulted your mom's
cooking?

120
00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:37,740
Come on. Let the punishment fit the
crime.

121
00:07:38,220 --> 00:07:44,060
Alf, you can't come back into the house
because my mother's going to be staying

122
00:07:44,060 --> 00:07:45,440
with us until Tuesday.

123
00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,480
Let her stay in the garage.

124
00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:50,220
Well, I can't let my mother sleep in a
garage.

125
00:07:50,820 --> 00:07:53,860
Oh, right. Let the mutant sleep in the
garage.

126
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:55,820
We don't think of you as a mutant.

127
00:07:56,260 --> 00:07:58,260
Do you think of me as your son? No.

128
00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:01,560
So I'm somewhere between a mutant and
your son.

129
00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:03,720
I'm a game show host.

130
00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:06,160
Alf, it's just for three days.

131
00:08:06,979 --> 00:08:09,260
That's enough time for my spirit to be
broken.

132
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:12,840
Don't you think you're being a little
overly dramatic?

133
00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:14,880
Overly dramatic?

134
00:08:16,020 --> 00:08:17,020
Overly dramatic.

135
00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:19,560
Kate, there's no TV in here.

136
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,620
We can let you use the small TV.

137
00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:24,040
The black and white one with the one
-inch screen?

138
00:08:24,260 --> 00:08:26,460
Good. I'll tape it to my eyes.

139
00:08:26,980 --> 00:08:29,340
Why don't you just tell Grandma about
me?

140
00:08:29,780 --> 00:08:31,940
Alf, we can't. Oh, fine.

141
00:08:32,159 --> 00:08:33,740
The charade continues.

142
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:38,860
Besides... I don't think you and my
mother would hit it off. Don't be silly.

143
00:08:39,140 --> 00:08:40,640
I get along with everybody.

144
00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:42,480
I'm a people alien.

145
00:08:43,260 --> 00:08:46,400
Well, you've never come across anyone
like my mother.

146
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:50,980
What is it with her? I mean, she walked
into the house and took over.

147
00:08:51,580 --> 00:08:53,060
I hate when people do that.

148
00:08:53,660 --> 00:08:56,000
Some people are not as considerate as
you are.

149
00:08:56,720 --> 00:09:02,240
Well, I think what we have here is your
basic parent -child dynamic.

150
00:09:02,740 --> 00:09:05,220
Every daughter feels the way you do
about her mom.

151
00:09:06,330 --> 00:09:08,170
Well, not every daughter.

152
00:09:10,270 --> 00:09:12,070
Oh, oh, absolutely not.

153
00:09:13,490 --> 00:09:17,270
Look, all I'm saying is your mom knows
how to push your button.

154
00:09:17,710 --> 00:09:20,310
Now, I suggest you confront her.

155
00:09:20,790 --> 00:09:22,710
Alf, I can't confront my mother.

156
00:09:23,050 --> 00:09:27,490
Why not? I don't know. I guess it goes
back to my childhood.

157
00:09:27,810 --> 00:09:30,810
You see, I was an only child, and I
think that...

158
00:09:31,020 --> 00:09:35,620
I think that my mother was
overprotective of me. In fact, I think

159
00:09:35,620 --> 00:09:36,620
me too much.

160
00:09:36,860 --> 00:09:39,980
Why am I telling you this?

161
00:09:40,340 --> 00:09:42,100
I don't know. I'm barely listening.

162
00:09:43,260 --> 00:09:45,100
I didn't eat all my banana bread.

163
00:09:45,380 --> 00:09:46,380
Oh, I'm sorry.

164
00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:47,460
It was great.

165
00:09:47,580 --> 00:09:49,280
Mom, do you think I could get the recipe
from Grandma?

166
00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:54,920
It wasn't that good. No, I don't even
know why I said that.

167
00:09:56,460 --> 00:09:57,460
Oh, good say.

168
00:10:03,630 --> 00:10:05,670
Here, Brian, why don't you put that
right by Grandma's suitcase?

169
00:10:06,150 --> 00:10:08,290
Here you go.

170
00:10:08,530 --> 00:10:11,390
A nice home -cooked meal.

171
00:10:11,870 --> 00:10:13,450
Must be Grandma's recipe.

172
00:10:13,690 --> 00:10:14,690
Just eat it.

173
00:10:15,050 --> 00:10:18,750
Mom, Grandma's going to be gone in a
half an hour. Right, right.

174
00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:20,590
I got through three days.

175
00:10:21,250 --> 00:10:22,970
I can last another 30 minutes.

176
00:10:23,330 --> 00:10:24,330
Where is Grandma?

177
00:10:24,470 --> 00:10:25,610
She's cleaning the bathroom.

178
00:10:25,850 --> 00:10:27,570
I just cleaned that bathroom yesterday.

179
00:10:28,450 --> 00:10:29,970
And she did a great job.

180
00:10:30,670 --> 00:10:32,230
That's not what Grandma said.

181
00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:34,300
It was spotless.

182
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:41,080
Al,

183
00:10:42,260 --> 00:10:46,080
Al, get back into the garage. My mother
is still here.

184
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,000
I've had it with the garage.

185
00:10:48,340 --> 00:10:50,160
And I've had it with your mother.

186
00:10:50,580 --> 00:10:52,160
This is my home.

187
00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:54,680
This is where the bathroom is.

188
00:10:55,860 --> 00:10:58,100
Al, Grandma's in the bathroom.

189
00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:00,240
What does she have, squatters, right?

190
00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:02,060
That does it.

191
00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:03,640
I'm going to have to file a grievance.

192
00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:10,180
Mom, Alpha, she's coming. Alpha, the
kitchen. Go, go. I'm going, I'm going.

193
00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:12,860
Boy, somebody took a grumpy pill.

194
00:11:15,100 --> 00:11:16,100
I'll get it.

195
00:11:20,700 --> 00:11:22,120
Who packed my suitcase?

196
00:11:22,660 --> 00:11:24,700
Uh, I did.

197
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,580
I thought you might want to save time.

198
00:11:31,050 --> 00:11:34,790
Look at this. You put all my underwear
on the top.

199
00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:37,310
Kate, that is so kind of you.

200
00:11:38,450 --> 00:11:40,830
Grandma, it's for you. It's crazy
Estelle.

201
00:11:41,170 --> 00:11:43,830
I wonder what that crackpot wants now.

202
00:11:47,070 --> 00:11:48,410
Too much oregano, honey.

203
00:11:49,350 --> 00:11:52,510
What is it, Estelle?

204
00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:57,170
What do you mean you're going to be
late?

205
00:11:58,670 --> 00:12:00,310
Don't you see that?

206
00:12:00,570 --> 00:12:04,450
See that you always do that to me,
Estelle. You know I hate running for

207
00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:07,970
I... Well, you are aggravating me.

208
00:12:08,330 --> 00:12:09,350
Oh, come on.

209
00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:11,150
Everybody likes me.

210
00:12:13,630 --> 00:12:16,670
Fine. Just go to Hawaii by yourself
then.

211
00:12:18,830 --> 00:12:21,810
Yeah, I hope you fall into a live
volcano, Estelle.

212
00:12:23,330 --> 00:12:24,330
Good news?

213
00:12:26,890 --> 00:12:29,890
Thanks. Joey has to be late. Like a...

214
00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:31,380
sickness with her.

215
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:37,120
You are still going to Hawaii, aren't
you? The woman is so selfish.

216
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:40,620
I mean, that's all she thinks about is
herself. Self, self, self.

217
00:12:41,420 --> 00:12:45,780
You want to know why she's always late?
Because she spends two hours putting on

218
00:12:45,780 --> 00:12:46,780
makeup.

219
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:49,180
As if anything could help that face.

220
00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:55,540
You are still going to Hawaii, aren't
you? She was actually late for her own

221
00:12:55,540 --> 00:12:56,540
husband's funeral.

222
00:12:57,220 --> 00:12:59,080
And her makeup was on crooked.

223
00:13:00,209 --> 00:13:01,750
Matter of fact, so was his.

224
00:13:02,930 --> 00:13:07,270
But you are still going to Hawaii,
aren't you?

225
00:13:07,710 --> 00:13:13,230
One thing is certain. I am not going to
Hawaii with a crazy woman. I'm going to

226
00:13:13,230 --> 00:13:14,230
stay right here.

227
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:19,130
Garbage disposal.

228
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:34,560
You know, your mother really is amazing.
You can see yourself in those tiles.

229
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:35,880
Who cares?

230
00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:38,100
Not me.

231
00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:41,140
I guess I was just talking off the top
of my head.

232
00:13:41,380 --> 00:13:42,379
I'm sorry.

233
00:13:42,380 --> 00:13:46,140
But it's driving me crazy the way she's
treating me like a child.

234
00:13:47,220 --> 00:13:50,060
I don't know. Maybe you should do what
Alf suggested.

235
00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:52,520
Maybe you should confront her. Right on.

236
00:13:54,380 --> 00:13:55,380
Alf?

237
00:13:57,260 --> 00:13:58,260
Who else?

238
00:13:58,860 --> 00:14:00,000
What are you doing under there?

239
00:14:00,330 --> 00:14:03,350
Trying to keep warm. The garage is
freezing.

240
00:14:04,150 --> 00:14:07,130
Listen, I couldn't help overhearing the
grandma discussion.

241
00:14:07,550 --> 00:14:08,790
How long have you been under there?

242
00:14:09,530 --> 00:14:10,690
Just the last few nights.

243
00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:12,330
Anyway, about grandma.

244
00:14:12,590 --> 00:14:14,970
Were you under there on Sunday night?

245
00:14:15,410 --> 00:14:16,409
Don't worry.

246
00:14:16,410 --> 00:14:17,730
Slept like a baby.

247
00:14:18,470 --> 00:14:19,530
Didn't hear a thing.

248
00:14:20,650 --> 00:14:22,730
Now, what are we going to do about
grandma?

249
00:14:24,170 --> 00:14:25,170
I don't know, Al.

250
00:14:25,570 --> 00:14:29,490
I don't know what we can do about her.
Well, I can't sleep under here every

251
00:14:29,490 --> 00:14:31,210
night. You got that right.

252
00:14:32,350 --> 00:14:34,930
And I'm not living in the garage any
longer.

253
00:14:35,490 --> 00:14:38,970
Unless you decide to put in a hot tub
and a big screen TV.

254
00:14:39,210 --> 00:14:40,610
Forget it. Okay.

255
00:14:40,910 --> 00:14:42,590
Then Grandma has to go.

256
00:14:43,270 --> 00:14:44,270
Here's my plan.

257
00:14:44,730 --> 00:14:48,390
You tell her that the house is built on
a fault line.

258
00:14:48,910 --> 00:14:52,350
Then some morning you wake her up and
scream, Earthquake!

259
00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:55,930
Earthquake! And you guys walk around the
house going, Whoa!

260
00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:57,270
Whoa!

261
00:14:59,530 --> 00:15:00,530
I don't know.

262
00:15:01,810 --> 00:15:02,850
How does that go again?

263
00:15:03,690 --> 00:15:05,310
Whoa, whoa. More arm motion.

264
00:15:05,850 --> 00:15:06,990
There you go. Yeah.

265
00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:09,449
Wait a minute.

266
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:13,850
So what if we do tell her about Alf? How
could we tell her? Kate, what would we

267
00:15:13,850 --> 00:15:14,850
say?

268
00:15:15,730 --> 00:15:18,970
I guess we just have to sit her down.

269
00:15:19,630 --> 00:15:22,270
We'd have to ask her if she'd ever seen
E .T.

270
00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:26,830
Why do you keep comparing me to E .T.?
I'm nothing like E .T.

271
00:15:27,420 --> 00:15:31,680
You know, someday, Willie, someone from
Melmac's going to ask me what you're

272
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:35,620
like. And I'm going to say, well, did
you ever see The Nutty Professor?

273
00:15:37,180 --> 00:15:43,480
Oh, for crying out loud. The best way to
tell Grandma about me is to do it

274
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:44,480
quickly.

275
00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:48,920
I'll go wait in the kitchen for her. She
usually has a snack around now. No, Al.

276
00:15:49,020 --> 00:15:51,840
You will not talk to her. You will do
this our way.

277
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:54,520
Okay. Don't get your nightie in a knot.

278
00:15:55,100 --> 00:15:56,120
It's your house.

279
00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:57,840
I respect that.

280
00:15:58,700 --> 00:15:59,760
Good night.

281
00:16:04,020 --> 00:16:09,660
Hey, go for it, Willie!

282
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:13,240
Well, this ought to be good.

283
00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:26,200
Here she comes.

284
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:30,940
Hi, Grandma.

285
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,140
Oh, my God.

286
00:16:33,780 --> 00:16:34,780
Have a seat.

287
00:16:35,660 --> 00:16:37,400
Who are you? What are you?

288
00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:38,760
A little background.

289
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:42,780
My name is Alf. I come from the planet
Melmac.

290
00:16:43,140 --> 00:16:47,040
I'm a member of a civilization millions
of years ahead of your own.

291
00:16:47,260 --> 00:16:50,740
And now I live in a laundry basket next
to the washing machine.

292
00:16:51,740 --> 00:16:52,840
Cup of java?

293
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,039
I know.

294
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,840
I know. You're something Willie made.

295
00:16:59,220 --> 00:17:02,380
He's always making crazy things in the
garage.

296
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:06,079
Take my word for it. I'm a space being.

297
00:17:06,540 --> 00:17:09,440
And since you've been here, I've had to
live in the garage.

298
00:17:10,380 --> 00:17:11,740
Let me ask you something.

299
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:14,579
Why are you so hard to get along with?

300
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:16,300
Kate's easygoing.

301
00:17:16,900 --> 00:17:18,440
Is she adopted or something?

302
00:17:19,380 --> 00:17:23,359
Anyway, my advice to you would be
lighten up on her.

303
00:17:23,950 --> 00:17:24,950
Be nice.

304
00:17:25,390 --> 00:17:27,230
Oh, yeah. Another thing.

305
00:17:29,010 --> 00:17:30,450
Stop poking me.

306
00:17:32,150 --> 00:17:36,710
We'll talk again when you're a little
less touchy -feely.

307
00:17:40,090 --> 00:17:40,770
Good

308
00:17:40,770 --> 00:17:52,650
morning,

309
00:17:52,830 --> 00:17:55,790
Grandma. Oh, my God. It wasn't a
nightmare.

310
00:17:56,250 --> 00:17:58,210
Sit down. Take a load off.

311
00:17:59,130 --> 00:18:03,490
You mean you actually do live in this
house?

312
00:18:03,830 --> 00:18:06,110
I thought we covered that last night.

313
00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:13,110
I guess you two have met.

314
00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:16,470
It introduced itself last night.

315
00:18:16,870 --> 00:18:20,330
Listen, I know you wanted to introduce
me, but...

316
00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:25,280
I couldn't stand being in the garage any
longer. There was a spider in there

317
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,080
this big.

318
00:18:29,340 --> 00:18:31,480
Well, now you know, Mom.

319
00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:34,220
We live with an alien from outer space.

320
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:37,440
Kate, I had such high hopes for you.

321
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,320
I sense some negative vibes here.

322
00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:44,720
Why don't we just discuss it over
breakfast?

323
00:18:45,180 --> 00:18:46,180
Good idea.

324
00:18:46,540 --> 00:18:48,420
Good morning. Morning, Grandma.

325
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:49,640
Morning, Al.

326
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:51,700
Uh -oh.

327
00:18:51,940 --> 00:18:52,940
Always right.

328
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:55,240
You met Al. Isn't he great?

329
00:18:55,540 --> 00:18:58,460
Is he going to eat at the table with us?

330
00:18:59,020 --> 00:19:00,400
Al always eats with us.

331
00:19:00,980 --> 00:19:02,040
What does he eat?

332
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:03,240
Kibble?

333
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:07,700
I resent that. I don't even know what
kibble is, but I resent that.

334
00:19:08,380 --> 00:19:09,520
This is wonderful.

335
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,240
He sits at the head of the table.

336
00:19:12,620 --> 00:19:16,720
Oh, Dorothy, he's comfortable there. I
don't really think it makes all that big

337
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:17,720
a difference.

338
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:23,450
Well, I only figured that the head of
the household should sit at the head of

339
00:19:23,450 --> 00:19:29,070
the table. It doesn't matter where
anyone sits. We all know who the head of

340
00:19:29,070 --> 00:19:29,949
household is.

341
00:19:29,950 --> 00:19:31,230
Juice? Yeah.

342
00:19:31,790 --> 00:19:36,350
Oh, how about some of those Belgian
waffles with the sugar sprinkled on

343
00:19:36,510 --> 00:19:39,110
You know how I like them. We're having
pancakes, okay?

344
00:19:39,370 --> 00:19:41,070
Fine, if that's all we've got.

345
00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:45,250
He sits at the head of the table. He
decides what you're going to have for

346
00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:49,250
breakfast. This little mop from the moon
is running your house.

347
00:19:49,490 --> 00:19:53,990
Mop from the... Mop from the moon? How
could you be so ignorant?

348
00:19:54,270 --> 00:19:56,970
There are no mops on the moon. Ha!

349
00:19:58,190 --> 00:20:00,310
I didn't mean that literally.

350
00:20:00,970 --> 00:20:02,950
I meant that as an insult.

351
00:20:03,910 --> 00:20:04,910
Oh, yeah?

352
00:20:05,150 --> 00:20:10,130
Yeah. Well, if I had a straw and a
napkin, I would fill you so full of

353
00:20:10,130 --> 00:20:15,710
spitballs... Do you know he's talking to
me? Listen, either she goes or I go.

354
00:20:16,070 --> 00:20:17,070
Which is it, Kate?

355
00:20:19,530 --> 00:20:21,950
Do you actually have to think about
this?

356
00:20:22,950 --> 00:20:25,790
No. Yes. Wait a minute, Blake.

357
00:20:26,070 --> 00:20:29,870
Blake, nobody's leaving and nobody's
staying.

358
00:20:30,990 --> 00:20:32,530
Good strong stand, Willie.

359
00:20:32,750 --> 00:20:34,850
No wonder you don't sit at the head of
the table.

360
00:20:37,030 --> 00:20:41,090
Well, I never thought my own daughter
would want to throw me out of her house.

361
00:20:41,350 --> 00:20:43,130
Grandma, no one's throwing you out.

362
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:46,030
You have wanted me to leave ever since I
got here.

363
00:20:46,310 --> 00:20:47,310
Got that right.

364
00:20:47,410 --> 00:20:48,610
Ow. Well, it's true.

365
00:20:49,130 --> 00:20:51,210
Would you just stay out of this, please?

366
00:20:52,630 --> 00:20:53,630
Is that true, Kate?

367
00:20:54,230 --> 00:20:55,230
Tell her.

368
00:20:57,570 --> 00:20:58,570
Yes.

369
00:20:58,850 --> 00:20:59,930
Yes, it is true.

370
00:21:00,370 --> 00:21:01,790
Kate, a little less direct.

371
00:21:03,070 --> 00:21:07,990
Mom, you drive me crazy. You come into
my house, you take over, you make me

372
00:21:07,990 --> 00:21:09,430
like I can't do anything right.

373
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,960
Well, I... I don't do that.

374
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:15,400
Yes, you do.

375
00:21:15,620 --> 00:21:22,460
Al, you have turned my daughter against
me. You have used some cosmic powers

376
00:21:22,460 --> 00:21:23,720
to take over her brain.

377
00:21:24,020 --> 00:21:26,280
Grandma, no one's been brainwashed.

378
00:21:26,580 --> 00:21:28,340
Mama's felt like this for a long time.

379
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,780
She was just afraid to tell you.

380
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:35,260
You know, this is your fault. You are
responsible for this whole thing.

381
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:37,060
I make things happen.

382
00:21:37,460 --> 00:21:38,480
I'm a catalyst.

383
00:21:40,870 --> 00:21:41,870
Listen,

384
00:21:42,590 --> 00:21:47,190
I love you, but this is our house.

385
00:21:47,810 --> 00:21:51,790
And as long as you want to be in this
house, you're going to have to follow

386
00:21:51,790 --> 00:21:52,790
rules.

387
00:21:53,930 --> 00:21:55,870
What? What kind of rules?

388
00:21:56,370 --> 00:21:59,090
Uh, no going for rides in the dryer.

389
00:21:59,510 --> 00:22:02,050
No chewing on any part of Lucky's body.

390
00:22:02,490 --> 00:22:04,430
Al, those rules only apply to you.

391
00:22:04,790 --> 00:22:05,790
So fair.

392
00:22:05,990 --> 00:22:07,690
Why does she get to chew on Lucky?

393
00:22:08,730 --> 00:22:10,670
She doesn't. She doesn't.

394
00:22:11,950 --> 00:22:15,830
The rule was no going for rides in any
appliance.

395
00:22:18,290 --> 00:22:21,690
Well, look, you know, I don't know if I
can memorize a whole bunch of rules.

396
00:22:22,030 --> 00:22:23,910
There's only one rule that's really
important.

397
00:22:24,630 --> 00:22:27,090
Treat your daughter like an adult.

398
00:22:27,310 --> 00:22:32,110
You did a wonderful job of raising me.
Why don't you trust me to do the same?

399
00:22:33,150 --> 00:22:35,590
Oh, Katie, I do trust you.

400
00:22:35,990 --> 00:22:37,030
I don't.

401
00:22:37,550 --> 00:22:41,490
I will. I want to. I love you, Kim. I'm
sorry.

402
00:22:41,710 --> 00:22:44,650
Just tell me what you want me to do.

403
00:22:44,930 --> 00:22:46,630
Just mellow out, Granny.

404
00:22:48,190 --> 00:22:49,190
Come on.

405
00:22:49,810 --> 00:22:51,210
Let's have breakfast, huh?

406
00:22:51,590 --> 00:22:54,050
Great. I'll make breakfast.

407
00:22:55,110 --> 00:22:58,070
Mom, I'll make breakfast.

408
00:22:58,430 --> 00:23:02,130
Oh, honey, every time you make pancakes,
they come out watery. Mom.

409
00:23:03,850 --> 00:23:04,850
Yes.

410
00:23:05,490 --> 00:23:06,490
Okay.

411
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:14,120
I'll just go sit down way over here.

412
00:23:23,740 --> 00:23:25,740
Here you are, Brian. Try this on.

413
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:26,919
Oh, no.

414
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:28,180
Not another gift.

415
00:23:28,620 --> 00:23:30,600
What are you trying to do, buy the kid
off?

416
00:23:30,980 --> 00:23:32,360
It's too big, Grandma.

417
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:34,580
You'll grow into it.

418
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,900
Until then, Willie could use it as a car
cover.

419
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:41,240
Oh, sure.

420
00:23:41,620 --> 00:23:44,820
Go ahead, make jokes. And after I made
you a gift.

421
00:23:45,700 --> 00:23:46,700
A gift for me?

422
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:48,160
Let me see, let me see.

423
00:23:49,660 --> 00:23:50,660
What is it?

424
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,000
A muzzle.

425
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:58,580
Very funny, very funny.